For most couples, after some time in a relationship, erotic attraction fades, sex becomes less frequent and less passionate. That doesn't have to be the case! With our 19 tips, you bring momentum into bed and ensure long-term exciting, unforgettable sex in long-term relationships - which always gets better!
Long relationships: How much sex and passion is normal?
In our society, there is a belief that in long relationships, after a while, the erotic attraction fades and sex becomes less passionate. Many think that this is something you have to expect and accept if you want to stay together for a long time.
Even though it is a normal and understandable development, experts agree that you can definitely influence it and still have fantastic sex even after years of being together - even better than in the beginning. It takes desire and commitment on both sides, but it's absolutely possible - and worth every effort! Here are a few of the most effective tips for keeping your love life exciting.
19 tips for exciting sex in long relationships
Tip 1: Don't take your partner for granted
As soon as we take the other person for granted and assume that he or she will always be there anyway, we may stop valuing ourselves and behave accordingly.
Consciously try to see the other person through the eyes of a stranger. Observe each other in your element - it is in such moments that people find each other most attractive. Keep your own identity with interests and activities independent of each other. And don't stop trying to date and flirt with each other. Distance increases desire - the first step to exciting sex.
Tip 2: Integrate more eroticism into life
To refresh your love life together, it is essential that you rekindle your desire for sexuality. In everyday life, we often have little to do with eroticism and sexuality. That's why you should consciously take care not to forget sexuality in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
Eroticism can be integrated into life by reading erotic books, listening to erotic stories, and watching erotic films. Watching a movie together with your partner, such as the classic 50 Shades of Grey with its many BDSM elements, is a great way to discuss the film afterward and come up with new ideas.
Likewise, it can be very beneficial for eroticism if you allow yourself more breaks in everyday life. Because many people have so much to do in everyday life that the energy for sex is missing. If you want to refresh your sex life, it needs a daily routine in which sex also finds a place.
Tip 3: Bring new things into sexuality
When you introduce something new to sex, curiosity is often reawakened. Whether it's a new sex position, a new location, a new sex toy, or a date box with everything it takes for a new sex experience. When you're alone or the two of you are talking about what new things you can bring to sex, just talking about it makes you want to have sex.
For example, you can look at the different date boxes together and talk about which box appeals to you and why.
Tipp 4: Plan sex date nights
To make room in his everyday life, for sexuality recommended sex date evenings. You can choose an evening when your intimacy is the top priority. Many people think that sex has to happen spontaneously. Spontaneous sex may be very nice and may succeed from time to time, but it is often the case that there is no time or energy left for sex at the end of the day.
Therefore, it is recommended to consciously take the time for sexuality. If this is too stressful for you and you feel under pressure to have sex on that very night, it is recommended to make the evening open. Have a date where you as a couple are in the foreground. On which there are no conversations about the jam, the children or the household. It's a date, just like at the beginning of your partnership.
An advantage of the sex date evening is also that you can look forward to the date beforehand. You can prepare for it and think, for example, what you want to do with your sweetheart or what sexy underwear you want to wear.
Tipp 5: Awaken your desire during solo sex
During solo sex you can pay attention to how it feels when you caress, touch or massage yourself. You can involve your whole body and explore your intimate parts if you feel like it.
Everyone practices solo sex differently, with the focus being on having fun and being curious about yourself. Do what makes you feel like and have fun and take your time to explore yourself again. This will allow you to discover new things about yourself and your sexuality and bring them into couple sexuality.
If you want to refresh your sex life, you can likewise observe each other having solo sex as a couple. This can be arousing and exciting as your* partner touches themselves. The Date Box Masturbation in Front of Each Other has everything you need for this.
Tipp 6: Reawaken curiosity
The most important quality to refresh your sex life is to be curious again. Curious about the sex between you as a couple and curious about yourself and your sexuality.
You can observe your partner with a look of curiosity. Maybe he or she will react differently to your touch than they did at the beginning of the relationship? Maybe you discover new sides of him or her in sexuality, which you have not noticed before? If you remain curious about how your partner behaves, you can discover new things about him or her and thus come up with new ideas.
Tipp 7: Reconnect with your body
In our society, we are very much in our heads. However, when it comes to sexuality, it is a great advantage to feel your body well.
If you do a body scan or body meditation, it will help you to feel your body better again. You can also take a bath and feel how the water feels on your skin.
In order to reconnect better with your body in the long term, it is advisable to take short sensory breaks in everyday life. You can pause, breathe deeply and feel your body.
If you also consciously feel and touch your vulva and vagina again and again in your everyday life, you promote your connection to them. Through a better connection to your sexual organs you can bring more joy, pleasure and sensuality into your sexuality. Nothing boosts your sex life more than having increased fun, excitement, pleasure and enjoyment during sex. A guide for more closeness to your vulva and vagina offers you our Date Box Pussy Meditation.
Tipp 8: Rediscover yourself
You can become curious about yourself and your sexuality again. You can ask yourself the following questions: How do you behave during shared sexuality. How does your body react to the touch? Do you move during sexuality? How is your breathing? What feelings do the touches of your partner trigger in you?
You can try out what changes when you change the tension in your body, change your breathing or try to move more in sexuality. Small changes can bring about big differences in perception.
Tipp 9: Watch porn
Why not watch porn together for once? This experience can be a hot start to the evening together. Choose a movie, get inspired and see where it takes you.
Tipp 10: Boredom
Yes, read correctly: To refresh one's sex life, boredom is recommended. It is important that you are bored together, without distractions. Through cell phones and TV, we can keep ourselves busy non-stop. However, if all the distractions are removed and you consciously devote yourself to your partner, you will certainly think of things that you can do together. It is essential to take your time and clear away all distractions.
Tipp 11: Talk about your turn-ons
A great advantage of long relationships is the basis of trust that can be built up over time together. This is the perfect basis for open and honest communication about sexual preferences, concerns and desires - and that in turn is the most important prerequisite for fantastic sex!
We all know how nerve-wracking it can be to show ourselves in this regard. That's where the boredom goes really fast. Role playing, anal sex, spanking, or threesome sex? Dare and share your most secret fantasies and turn-ons.
This also works as a surprise e-mail or handwritten as a letter, if you do not bring it so easily over the lips in a personal conversation. Or make a game out of it: describe to your partner in detail how exactly you want to be touched and stimulated while he/she follows your instructions. Then switch roles and do the same thing the other way around. You're guaranteed to learn a thing or two!
Tipp 12: Redefine
What is sex, anyway? If you're still stuck in the mindset that sex = penetration, it's worth revising that. If one of you - or even both of you - have become less desirous of sex over time, ask yourself the question, "Do I have less desire for sex, or do I have less desire for the kind of sex we've been having?"
Maybe your body desires more massage elements? Maybe you actually have other fantasies that you haven't integrated into your sex life so far? Or maybe you lack mental stimulation as a result? Perhaps the emotional intimacy between you is also an important factor that you have neglected somewhat. Go on an exploration tour - best alone and together.
Tipp 13: Swap roles
In long relationships, people often fall into certain roles during sex; one person is more active and dominant than the other.
Consciously reverse the roles and see what changes! It can be very exciting for the other person as well as for yourself to experience yourself on the other side. And who knows, maybe you will discover a new preference this way. For example, you can use the active-passive date box to guide you.
Tipp 14: Surprises you
Looking for new sexual experiences together is great. Sometimes, however, it is even more exciting when we are surprised with it. This also counteracts the dangerous feeling of always knowing what will happen.
Plan sensual dates for each other, send each other erotic messages in unexpected moments, surprise the other in a hot outfit or get some sex toys and think about the creative ways in which you want to spoil your partner.
Tipp 15: Taking risks and exploring boundaries
Knowing where your boundaries are is an important part of your sexual journey of discovery. Take time to ask yourself why something is a no-go for you. Is it because you're embarrassed or because you're worried that your partner won't like it or might like it? Has someone told you that it is bad or indecent? Or did they just not like it?
Tipp 16: Spontenious Sex
Have sex spontaneously! When you have sex, it's actually good, but you so rarely get to do it? Or you finally have time for sex at the end of the day, but your head and body are tired and exhausted? Instead, try to incorporate sex spontaneously when it's convenient. Just sit on your lap, kiss and see what happens.
Tipp 17: How about a Tantra massage?
Give a joint Tantra experience for your birthday! Tantra is primarily NOT about sexual satisfaction but rather about present sensing, about the increase of sensation as well as the strengthening of intimacy between you as a couple.
In the Tantra Box you will find all the instructions and utensils for a successful Yoni and Lingam massage.
Tipp 18: Relax!
Everyday stress that arises outside the partnership can put a lot of strain on the partnership. One is more irritable than necessary, constantly under time pressure and hardly has time for tenderness. So: Ommmm.... How about a joint sabbatical as a time-out from stress?
Tipp 19:The Intro Date Box
The Intro Date Box is the perfect starting point for all couples who want to bring more variety into their long-term relationship and experience an exciting date night: At its heart are two questionnaires that will get you talking about your fun, erotic, and raunchy secrets that you may not have talked about yet. And that's just the beginning! We certainly only cover a small portion of the topics of conversation. Use this evening as a springboard and continue to regularly ask questions (from vanilla to spicy) about things you've always wanted to know from each other. This way you can quickly turn a "meh" date night into an unforgettable one.
Conclusion
There are many ways to keep sex exciting and thrilling in a long-term relationship. With our 19 tips, you can get started right away - pick 1-2 tips and start implementing them. This is more relaxed than directly integrating all tips at once into your partner sex. And don't forget: Familiarity is a super valuable ingredient that makes sex better and better over time!
