Spanking: What is that exactly? Tips for beginners

Spanking is more than just a slap on the butt. Spanking is a BDSM practice that literally gives your sex life a boost: In spanking, a submissive role "sub" receives spankings from a dominant counterpart "dom" in a suitable position for erotic stimulation.

Spanking offers an inexhaustible range of intensities, techniques and possibilities, which is why it has long been popular not only among fans of the harder types of play. Here you will find the most important tips and tricks on how to safely approach your first spanking session, also known as "impact play", and make it an exciting experience.

Spanking: spanking and arousal - how does it work?

Pain and sexual arousal can be close because, in rudimentary terms, both are signals that our body sends to the brain in response to stimulation.

If you apply stroke techniques in the right rhythm and with the right intensity, the pain caused by the strokes can lead to a release of happy hormones such as endorphins and adrenaline, which can increase sexual desire enormously. This effect is further enhanced by the psychological aspect of the power relationship that the game creates between you with the physical chastisement.

Spanking rules: no spanking game without consensuality and safety

So spanking is about playing with power dynamics and loving blows. In spanking, you play a role-playing game based on trust and consensus: The submissive role, "sub," cedes control to the dominant counterpart, "dom," for a set period of time within a mutually agreed upon framework.

It is important that you communicate clear agreements with each other before your spanking session. This is the only way to create a framework in which both feel comfortable and erotic pleasure can develop. Our Date Box Spanking has just such a questionnaire ready, with the most important points that you should discuss. For example, how intense the "slaps" should be, which instruments should be used or how often and how long the spanking should be.

You should definitely talk about this beforehand so that no interruptions or unpleasant breaks occur during the spanking session. As always, communication is key, especially with BDSM practices: talk more about spanking before you have your spanking session. You can additionally set certain code words, also called "safewords". When this code word is mentioned, the intensity is either reduced or increased.

Spank properly, but safely! The most important safety tips for spanking

Spanking means that pressure is applied to the body and therefore contains a few pitfalls. Enclosed you will find an excerpt from the safety instructions of our Spanking Date Box. You should read them carefully and study which body parts may be hit with which intensity and which not, before you start impact play.

Clarify physical health

As a general rule, it is essential to clarify any health problems or illnesses beforehand. This is because people with blood or metabolic diseases such as diabetes can react extremely sensitively to even light blows and suffer from longer healing times.

In addition, there are other factors that can affect pain sensitivity, the formation of hematomas or other vulnerability of the skin. These include hormone treatments, blood pressure medications, menstruation, iron deficiency and the like. These must also be taken into account and intensity of play adjusted if necessary or even postponed to a later time.

Anatomy crash course for safe spanking

When we think of spanking, we usually think of blows to the buttocks and thighs, i.e. the classic spanking. In fact, they are well suited for spanking because of the dense, springy fabric. Note, however, that the fabric of the inner thighs tends to leave marks. Nevertheless, as with all painful BDSM practices, spanking should be approached slowly and the intensity should be increased gradually. 

In addition, there are other fatty areas of the body where spanking is considered pleasurable or stimulating, but where some caution is advised. These include:

• The arms
• The calves
• The shoulders and shoulder blades,
• The soles of the feet and palms of the hands and breasts

The sternum, abdomen, ribs, shins and feet may only be maltreated with light blows.

Taboo for spanking blows are:

• Kidneys
• Loins
• Hip
• Neck and spine including coccyx
• Achilles tendon
• Wrists, knees and back of the knees
• Armpits

As well as any other places where there are joints, tendons or many nerves.

The best positions for spanking

The perfect positions for spanking are all the positions where the butt is perfectly positioned to receive exciting blows. This works best in the quadruped position or placed on the knees in position in front of the spanker. Doggy position is also fantastic for receiving strokes on the butt.

However, you can also try all the positions where one of you is tied up and receives spanking strokes in that position. A bondage scenario is perfect for this type of corporal punishment: Because it's about giving up control over the other person's body.

What percussion instruments fit for spanking?

We recommend, to begin with, to feel your way forward with the palm of your hand: this will give you a feeling for the intensity of the blow and increase the intimacy between you. 

When you have developed a good feeling for the intensity of the blows, you can add these percussion instruments for the chastisement:

• Flogger

 

• Paddle

• Gerte

 

At the very end, you can reach for the crop. Even if it looks the most harmless, the whip is one of the nastiest spanking instruments. It causes a punctual but stabbing pain that gets under your skin.

Fancy your very own spanking session?

More safety tips, ideas for the scenario and a questionnaire for communication before the spanking session can be found in our Spanking Date Box. There you can expect exact scenarios for sub and dom for your spanking session, incl. tips to get into the right mindset and to be able to fully surrender to this experience. Also included are tips for aftercare after the spanking session. 

This date box was created in cooperation with Deviance: The first dating app for BDSM and fetish devotees that was developed together with the community.

 

Still more desire for kinky Sexperiences?

Spanking excites you and you want to have more kinky experiences? That's what we thought! Don't worry, we are constantly expanding our range and this is not our only date box for kinky couples. Take a look at these date boxes:

• Bondage Light is our starting point for fantasies around freedom of movement (or the restriction of it). Whether you're looking for your first experience with control or you've already experimented with it and want to improve your communication, dive into the world of consensus-driven bondage and look forward to what's to come.

• Anal Play Intro will prepare you for an unforgettable first time anal sex, with tips around preparation and mindset for the anal adventure.