Sex Date by Plan: Field Report of a Sexually Active Couple

Isabel and Tom write about their open relationship on their blog offenerzweier. In a sex experiment, they have themOH MY! FANTASY Date Box Slow Sextested! They describe here in a very personal, intimate and open way how they have the experiencethe couple fantasyhave experienced slow sex. The following text is written from Isabel's perspective, you will find Tom's texthere.

Field report Slow Sex:

Only marginally did I concern myself with who the target group of this fantasy might be. You and I are and have been quite sexually active. We are not unfamiliar with the practices that can be learned with the help of instructions and suitable accessories. I loved the idea of these individual fantasies.You and I probably don't belong in the target group, finally is Analsexone of our favorite practices, a little pain of pleasure a welcome guest and slow-paced sex a well-known pleasure.But who is actually interested in Fantasien? Are they couples who want to get out even more? Is it men looking for new practices? Or is it women exploring their own lust?

Writing has grounded you and me very much in the past. We write about our relationship construct, our experiences and topics that are important to us.However, while working from home is increasing, the writing material is currently decreasing.

The moment I stand in the bathroom with the dried pot, lost in thought, I write to Annika and ask for hers Slow-Sex-Date Box. Wasn't there also something to do with mindfulness?

You and I read through the flyers about concentrating on your own self and conscious sex together. In addition to mindfulness exercises and suggestions for slow sex, the pretty packet also contains a nipple and massage gel.

And now I'm standing here with these cards in hand and breathing deeply. It's good to feel yourself. In the past, I used to feel very consciously at work or when going for a walk, hold my mind for a moment and feel how my stomach feels, my legs, every one of my movements. I haven't done that lately and now I feel the tension. At that moment, I consciously close my eyes and stop my own time. I slow down and focus on my breathing.I push the lever down and look up with my eyes closed.

When the water touches my body, I startle for a moment. I stroke my arms, then my chest to the sidemy breasts. The water is warm, the shower tray is still cold under my feet, but that is about to change. I concentrate on every single feeling, each of my movements, touches, handles.I consciously take the shower head out of the holder and run the water over my whole body. I imagine my thoughts of work, everyday life and self-doubt being washed down.I'm just with myself and the warm water now.Little by little I lather each part of my body, feel the soap being washed down by the water and smile. Very gently, consciously and at the same time carefully, I touch my breasts, the inside of my thighs and slide a finger into my pussy. A subliminal excitement rises in me. My second hand reaches up to my nipple and gently pinches it. I feel a slight tug...mhhh...

And then I open my eyes. You stand in front of the shower cubicle with your messy, reddish hair and the beard that you're wearing a little longer than usual. You stand there in your shorts and hand me a towel. You put the red fabric around me and pull me to you. I snuggle up to you and let the largest drops slide into the towel.

andwhat was slow sex again?The thing with the turtles and the snail's pace? You and I have always found it difficult physically to be calm. While I'm wearing a cranked Duralcell bunny in my heart, you're a little calmer in spirit, but your libido is wearing jogging shoes. Your movements suit the enjoyable runner that you are. Slow is not our nature. But we can dream and feel. It's also not about "the main thing is slow".It's about the consciousto be who you are. Being mindful without a subconscious end and without a rush in the bloodstream with the ultimate goal being the orgasmic climax.

We're both free today. Our daughter is cared for by my parents. Our date night is happening now, on a sunny Friday around noon.You take my hand and lead me into the living room. It is the largest and brightest roomwith a large sofa landscape. Music is playing softly in the background and the window is open a crack. Our cell phones lie silently somewhere in drawer 13.

I'm naked, you're wearing your shorts. I feel a cool breeze on my skin.We kiss with ease, without a time limit.Our arms hang beside the body. You and I just focus on our lips and the tips of our tongues nudging. I try to focus on each sensation. It's not easy to let go of the feeling of a commitment-driven deer,but with every passing minute we loosen a little more -Between the breeze and the sun's rays. At some point I'll strip off your shorts. We now kneel in front of each other on the soft fabric and explore our bodies.I follow my impulses and trace your beard with my fingertips, stroke your lips,down your neck to your chest, then back up sideways and down again a bit. I watch your reactions and feel your touch on my skin. We do this pretty much one at a time to give credit for each emotion.

In a sun-drenched living room in the far north, near the Elbe, time is standing still.I notice how the lust rises subliminally.I breathe in, out and look at the small table next to us. I reach for nipple and massage gel, which were included in the package.I slide the small roller over your nipple and bite my bottom lip."Do you feel anything?" "No." When I want to put the gel away, you snuggle up to me and ask"Can we do that again?"Then you try the gel on me. It feels cool. Immediately my nipple reigns. Again I feel my excitement.

We kiss timelessly. Then, in addition to the hands, we also use lips and tongue. We explore each other, play with each other's lust and observe how each reacts - nibbling, licking, sucking.My lap is slowly bursting into flames in a very different way than usual. I squirm, concentrating on my sensations.

I want to feel you inside me and you also have trouble not getting "even closer" to me.We devote ourselves the massage gel and use this as a little break from excitementuntil we let the gel trickle down each other's bodies one by one.

First we kneel in front of each other again and massage each other with the coconut gel - shoulder and chest area down to stomach and thighs.Then you're lying on top of me I enjoy your closeness and the coconut scent. We move in unison and I feel your excitement on my mons pubis. You penetrate me very easily, then always a little deeper. we look at us My hands stroke your back up to your bottom. I nibble on your lips and feel my entire body tingle.We speed up, then slow down again, lose track of time and play with excitement.

It's not an entirely new game, but right now, at this time, we're reinventing it for ourselves. Our bodies whisper for salvation, the climax. We take pleasure to the extreme until inner voices grow louder and we bury our hands in each other's skin during orgasm.

We'll be together for quite a while, enjoying the here and now.And then we consciously and carefully let the time continue.

Field report Slow Sex: Tom's perspective

"Slow" that already says a lot! The word stands in contrast to so many other things, in the everyday life of many people. Work, family or friends - people's time is often very clocked. Organization is everything, so you don't lose track and get the things that are important done. With so many issues to deal with, there is often not much time to pause and deal with yourself, or even with his partner - just in peace.

Slow sex, what does it actually mean? With all the stress that we encounter in everyday life, many couples probably try to "sandwich" their sex life somewhere. Work, children and other obligations - there is little time to be there for yourself and your partner in peace. Often, you might just be able to squeeze in a "quickie" and then it's "let's move on!" But it should be about meeting each other consciously and stopping time again.

I halfway manage to meditate on a regular basis. It's a date with myself. It is time that I give myself. Time where it's all about me and where I'm exclusively engaged with myself. I think slow sex is not that far removed from meditation. At its core, it's also about consciously taking time for lovemaking as a couple, meeting each other without distractions. Here the keyword is "mindfulness"! Everything that could lead to distractions must be off - cell phones, TV, computer, etc.

If I want to meditate, I create an appropriate environment for it. The cell phone goes into "silent mode." I close the windows and the door to the room so that it is as quiet as possible. If necessary, I try to darken the room a bit and I light my meditation candle. From my point of view, exactly such preparations can also be helpful for Slow Sex with your partner. Creating an environment where there is mostly silence and you can completely focus on your own body and that of your partner.

From my point of view, it's about enjoying the moment and focusing fully on it. I find that sometimes it's not that easy, because the challenge for me is the same as meditating. It's about getting all the distracting thoughts out of your head and really giving yourself completely to the moment. Personally, I need to be able to immerse myself in a moment. Even small things can distract me from what's happening, even if it's cold feet. In general, the room temperature should be right for slow sex.

You, Isabel and I often find it very difficult to consciously take time for each other. I think many couples with small children know what I mean. Often you use the time when the little ones are asleep, or when they are busy with something. We used that time the other day at noon when our little one was with your parents. We also defied the fact that we are both actually "morning people". You and I, we both like sex in the morning, but now we take the opportunity to meet in peace and enjoy a sensual lunch break together.

There's a background to this, too. You recently started writing erotic fantasies for a startup. Just now you offered to try out a box and write down your/our experiences in Slow Sex. Accessories are also included: a "Nipple Play Gel" which you apply to your nipples via a roll-on, as well as a massage gel.

I get you out of the shower and we make out for an eternity in our bright living room. On the big sofa bed we caress each other. We explore our bodies with our hands. First you use the nipple gel on me. To my sensation, it's not so much the gel itself that stimulates, but this slightly cool roll-on that you let circle over the nipple. We also use the massage gel. It smells of coconut and stimulates the senses.

We caress each other, also spoil each other with our mouths. We try to take our time and take it really slow. Personally, I am an absolute movement person. I like to let off steam and that also during sex. Slow movements actually go against my nature, but I pull myself together. It's not easy when you actually want to passionately fall over the other.


I am above you, we enjoy the very intense body proximity to each other. But I don't penetrate you yet, only our bodies rub against each other. We exchange intense kisses and our hands seem to be continuously on the move. Again and again we are about to fully merge with each other, but we delay it again and again and play with it. For my part, I forget everything around me, I enjoy your kisses, your hands and your hot lap. I feel how I first very little and then piece by piece, penetrate further and further into you. We don't move much in the process. We enjoy feeling each other. It feels intense. I slowly start to move a little inside you. Again and again I interrupt and pause. Now we alternate slow sex and moving faster....

We are just both very passionate people. We like to feel each other's fire. I think that we are not so much the types that stroke each other "for hours" with a feather until one or both of us can't take it anymore. There is not enough discipline in us for that. So the question remains, what is slow sex? For me, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with all movements being deliberate. It's mainly about consciously taking time together for togetherness, for sex. Both should switch off the head, lock out the everyday life and once again consciously perceive themselves.

It doesn't really matter how much time you take. It is only important that you can enjoy the moment together. Not just "sex and go"!

As our lovemaking speeds up and slows down, I start to watch you closely. We look deep into each other's eyes and I can see your lust in them. My hands run over your soft skin. It feels incredibly good. It electrifies me and your touches drive me crazy. Again and again you play with my nipples, which excites me more and more. I kiss you again and again and nibble on your nipples. I notice how it excites you and I run my lips along your neck. I enjoy this wonderful smell of you. My movements become faster and faster after a while, without me being able to control it further. I enjoy the feeling of being inside you. You feel so incredibly good. Our game between fast and slow comes to an end as our lust unloads, but we do not stop touching, enjoying and noticing each other.

Feel like trying slow sex?

The Slow Sex Date Box is there here!

More texts from Isabel and Tom on their website or on Instagram.