External use - experience report of a sub
Do you have the fantasy of letting a stranger use you one day? Giving up full control in a stranger-use session and putting yourself in the hands of a complete stranger? It can be both a tantalizing and scary fantasy. This article describes what that stranger-use feeling feels like, how to do it in a self-determined way, and why you can very well have fun with a stranger and a fulfilling relationship at the same time. Created in cooperation with @sir_high_grade and @my.sub.world, Sub Mia describes her first experiences with stranger use.
What does third-party use mean?
Extraneous use means that there is complete trust between both partners, they know each other so well that they communicate everything with each other and fulfill each other's every wish. A big misconception is that most quickly dismiss the tempting thought of cross-use: They can't have fun without their partner, they live in a monogamous relationship and their partner satisfies them that way, and besides - this fantasy is perverted! But: Extraneous use doesn't mean that your partner can't satisfy you and you have to look for fun somewhere else. But it is actually a sign of trust, which requires a lot of tact from both sides.
Used by others - experience from the point of view of a sub
I am Mia and I am submissive. After some sexual experiences in and out of relationships, I felt more and more that I have a strong desire to live out my submissive side more. I made the beginning with an online relationship with a Dom. Shortly thereafter followed my first Dom in real life. In the meantime, I live in a firm 24/7 DS relationship with my Dom and husband.
I like to fulfill this submissive role as a sub so that I satisfy the men around me and I listen to them. I also had fantasies for a long time that several men use me at the same time and do with me what and how they want. That I let myself be used by several men but also dominated. A long cherished fantasy of mine is to serve on a game night with several men of different ages and let them use me.
How to communicate the fantasy of foreign use?
However, I would never cheat on my partner and master. I am faithful and honest and the bond, as well as trust are the most important thing for me. My master is the first person to whom I could entrust my fantasies and also live them out for the first time. Through him I have learned what is the most important thing. It is the trust, understanding and communication between partners, as well as the love to give him what he wants and what he craves.
The first experience with external use
My first experiences were under his control. First, we searched together for other men, at some point he searched alone and I knew nothing more. The only thing I knew was that he always decided what, when, and how to do. And that's what excited me the most.
In the early days, it was simple, short meetings where I should satisfy the man briefly, such as with a blowjob. But from meeting to meeting it became more and more; from one man to several men; from blowjobs to using percussion instruments. And my master was always at my side, had everything in view, and the situation under control. Meanwhile, there are more men, and there are more tasks, more percussion instruments, or rehearsals involved.
It turns me on that he has so much control over me and my pleasure. He decides what happens to me and what the other men are allowed to do. Even though they are dominant toward me, they never are toward my master. He shows that I belong to him alone, even when I satisfy other men.
Together with my master the fantasy becomes reality
Alone I would never have lived out these fantasies. But with my master at my side I feel safe. It is important to me that he is always there. We have made a promise to each other never to do such things alone. He makes up the rules and taboos with the men beforehand and makes sure that everything is adhered to. Equally important to me is that we have a code word that I can always use and know is stop right away, as well as one where everyone knows not to get rough.
It turns me on when different men use me - each time a different one. My master determines everything for me. I don't know the age, the size, or any preferences. But what I do know is that my master chooses the men with extreme care. And that is exactly what turns me on. The foreign use alone is an insanely exciting feeling and always gives me new impressions.
Foreign use and control - like a thousand first times.
But it is even more exciting to experience the living out of the fantasy of foreign use under his control and to make my position clear to me. It shows that I am only his and do everything he asks. That it is my job to satisfy my master and if it is his desire, to make other men happy as well. Also, it allows me to show that my master can be proud of his sub and I enjoy presenting myself in front of others and showing what I have already learned.
In addition, it helps me further find out what I personally want and want to live out or try. I get new experiences and insights every time, as well as suggestions on what I want to continue doing or stop doing. In addition, it is a kind of proof of confidence in both of us and strengthens our bond every time anew.
Aftercare after external use experience
Nevertheless, it is important to me that my master and I do a lot of aftercare afterwards. We talk everything over, take each other in our arms and exchange a lot of tenderness. He brings me back down to earth and gives me back my safe, familiar environment.
Of course, foreign use does not only exist in the BDSM context. But especially there it reflects the great trust between Domina/Dom and Sub. It shows the submissiveness, but at the same time the good communication of both partners, which are indispensable for a D/S relationship. It shows the power relationship and helps to continue to grow sexually and continue to learn. No matter how old and experienced you are, foreign use always brings new impressions.
