BDSM: That\'s behind bondage & Co.

At least since Fifty Shades of Greyis BDSM is known in the whole world. Anyone who thinks that this erotic variety can be explained with a few lashes is wrong. BDSM is a wide field - we explore it step by step here. If you want to have a say in future discussions about Christian Gray & Co. or if you are curious about the power game, you should definitely read on.

What is BDSM?

In order to know what is behind the term, it should first be clear what the acronym BDSM stands for. It consists of the first letters of the English designations „Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism" and summarizes a group of diverse sexual preferences and identities. For those involved, three characteristics are essential: "safe, sane and consensual".

What are the roles in BDSM?

In BDSM, the participants enter a power imbalance voluntarily and to gain pleasure from their equality. The submissive partner which is also called sub or bottom, gives up a certain part of his self-determination and hands it over to the dominant (determining) partner which is called dome or top. The sub is tied up or humiliated within a predetermined framework, but also spoiled and caressed. The attraction for the sub lies in the helplessness, being at the mercy and being brought up. The dom finds the attraction and excitement in the control, the power over the sub.

Most BDSM participants find themselves in one of the two roles. But there are also some who switch between active and passive part: the so-called Switch or Switcher. 

People who don't have BDSM tendencies are in the scene called vanilla. Vanilla is the most popular and most common type of ice cream in the world and is considered ordinary. "Ordinary" sex is therefore named Vanilla Sex.

What is a session?

BDSM practices usually take place within a fixed period of time which can be defined as a game or session. Sexual intercourse can occur in any form within a session - but does not have to.

Important: BDSM is not always everything at once, it is diverse. So, dominance does not mean sadism and the pain of pleasure is not for everyone and does not occur in many sessions. And did you know that bondage is not necessarily only intended to fix the sub, but is also practiced for purely aesthetic reasons?

Tips for getting started

As a BDSM newcomer, you should start slowly and work your way up. You don't need to set up an entire game room to enjoy exciting power differential games. While "learning by doing" is arguably best for many sexual practices, when it comes to BDSM adventures, you should do some research - safety and trust first and foremost. In the OH MY! FANTASY Bondage Light Box we have developed an exact scenario for you, how you can slowly approach the world of consensus-driven bondage.

Are you interested in lustful slaps? Then you will insterested in our Spanking Date Box, who gives inspiration for positions for beginners and more experienced spankers.

The most important abbreviations and terms of the scene can also be found in our BDSM encyclopedia.

Who? How? Where? – BDSM in numbers

Estimates of the proportion of people who love BDSM range from about 5 to 25 percent. According to a global survey from 2005 ("Durex Global Sex Survey 2005"), around 20% of those surveyed have already used masks, blindfolds oder other bondage paraphernalia. 5% (in Germany 4%) expressly professed sadomachistic varieties. 

The lust for power games, i.e. BDSM, is practiced across society, but seems to turn on people with higher incomes. Most members of sadomasochistic clubs are upper-middle class, well-educated, cultivated, socially integrated, professionally successful, reliable, emotionally and mentally stable.

In general, masochism (the passive part) is apparently more popular than sadism (the active part). According to various surveys, there are about four times as many BDSM fans who prefer the submissive part. Mostly it's women. It may serve as an outlet for them to release the pressure of responsibility and finally be allowed to show weakness.