Wie habe ich guten Sex?

Wie habe ich guten Sex?

Is it multiple orgasms? Particularly hard, particularly intense or even particularly long orgasms? Is penetrative sex absolutely necessary for this? In order to feel more pleasure in the pleasure, many factors play a role. In any case, sex is something very personal! It is therefore extremely difficult to give a simple answer as to how one could define good sex.

Certainly there are essential, practical things that will help you and your partner use your bodies better. With good sex, it's not only important to feel your own body more intensely but also that of your partner.

How can you increase mutual pleasure?

Consent is essential here: agree as a couple! Consciously enjoy the closeness of your partner. Take a deep breath and engage your whole body. Touch your own body and explore it curiously! Another important tip: both train your pelvic floor muscles, but we’ll get to that later in this blog post.

Your brain – the largest sex organ!

You guessed right, your brain is the most erogenous zone and therefore your largest sex organ. The more time you spend with a part of the body, the more you feel there because this area is constantly being expanded in the brain, similar to a neural highway that is getting bigger and bigger. Now you understand better why it is so important to touch, explore and get to know your own body intensively.

How can you improve your own physicality and body love?

Everything we learn cognitively about our body always influences our own sexuality. Therefore, it is essential to deal with your own body. The older you get, the more your sensitivity and relationship to your own body and especially to your own pelvic floor changes. It is important to know that changes are possible throughout life. Efficient help here is, on the one hand, regular, targeted pelvic floor training and, on the other hand, individual sexual counseling. Conclusion: If you don't love your own body at all and don't feel comfortable in it, you communicate it and it influences your charisma. It is therefore extremely important to take care of your own body.

Train your pelvic floor muscles!

Targeted pelvic floor training increases your body awareness. In this way, it helps you to be more accepting of your body. With pelvic floor exercises, you breathe deeply and feel your body intensely. It's actually quite simple: a well-trained pelvic floor muscle can be used specifically for your own pleasure gain. By the way, everyone has a pelvic floor muscle, regardless of gender. Unfortunately, men often do not think deeply about it, which we think is a pity. In the following we would like to introduce you to a simple, but highly efficient pelvic floor exercise to get you started.

The lift exercise

With this simple, hands-on exercise, imagine a blueberry in your vagina or anus wanting to take the elevator. Slowly contract your pelvic floor, breathing in and out. The blueberry goes to the 1st floor, then to the 2nd and then back again. Slowly increase the number of floors - until you make it to the 5th floor! With this exercise you tense and relax the pelvic floor.

Füsse von Paar im Bett

The three essential levels of your sex life

It is important that you are aware that all three levels listed below must always be in harmony:

  • a genital excitement
  • the right head feeling
  • the right gut feeling.

Think about your sex life and start by finding answers to the following important questions:

  • Which factors from my childhood or past have a conscious or unconscious influence on my lived sexuality?
  • What images do I have in my mind during sex?
  • How do I feel about it in my own body?
  • What excites me? What turns me off?
  • Which turn-ons play an important role in my feeling of pleasure?

What role does the joy of experimentation play here?

Discuss this topic with your partner. If you agree on a lowest common sexual denominator, routine naturally sets in. Trying out new things is good for every relationship, not just sexually. An open conversation with your partner is also part of it. Unfortunately, sometimes a deep-rooted fear can be paralyzing and keep you from trying; the fear that everything will be transferred to the entire relationship and that this will be called into question per se. So are you too conformist and don't want to take any risks? You don't dare to show who you really are and what secret sexual fantasies you have? In order to have really fulfilling, good sex, however, you absolutely have to free yourself from your fears!

Break free from the pressure of orgasm and get creative!

What does a relationship start with and what does it end with? Often the relationship simply ends with the man having an orgasm. This is very unfortunate. Collect ideas with your partner. Sex does not have to be synonymous with sexual intercourse and must not be reduced to penetrative sex! In addition, an orgasm is not mandatory. Look for new sexual experiences together with your partner. Dare and get creative! Plan sensual dates with each other, surprise each other, spoil each other! Go on a journey of discovery! The Date boxes from OH MY! FANTASY" can make it easier for you and your partner to get started in a playful way. Thanks to the diverse equipment of the various boxes, there is something for everyone. Just try it.

This blog article was written in cooperation with sex educator, sex counselor, supervisor and pelvic floor trainer Cornelia Lindner. More information about her is available on her website and on Instagram at @gefuehlsecht_sexuale bildung.