Third-party use – what does it mean for me?

This article was created in cooperation with @sir_high_grade and and describes Sub Mia's first experiences with third-party use.

Many dream of becoming oneuse strangersto let go - to give up full control and into the hands of a complete stranger. But most people quickly dismiss this thought. You can't have fun without your partner, your partner pleases you like that and besides - that's kinky!

But using someone else doesn't mean that your partner can't satisfy you and that you have to find fun somewhere else. It means fullesttrust between the partnersprevails, they know each other so well that they communicate everything with each other and fulfill every wish.


I, too, have long had fantasies of several men using me at the same time and doing what and how they want with me. That I am of severalmen use, but alsodominatelet. I am submissive and I like to fulfill this role, that I satisfy the men around me and that I listen to them. A fantasy of mine is to serve at a game night with several men of different ages and let them use me.

However, on the other hand, I would never cheat on my partner and mr. I'm loyal and honest and the connection and trust are the most important things for me.

My Lord is the first man I speak toFantasiescould confide in and also lived out for the first time. Through him I learned what is the most important thing. It is trust, understanding and communication between partners, as well as love to give him what he wants and what he longs for.

My first experiences were under his control. First we looked for other men together, at some point he looked for himself and I didn't know anything anymore. All I knew was that he always decided what, when and how to do it. And that's what excited me the most about it.

It turns me on that he is so muchControl over me and my lusthas. He decides what happens to me and what the other men are allowed to do. Even if they are dominant towards me, they are never dominant towards my master. He shows that I belong to him alone, even if I please other men.


In the beginning it was simple, short meetings where I was supposed to briefly satisfy the man, such as with a blowjob. But from meeting to meeting it became more and more; from one man to several men; from blowjobs to percussion instruments. And my master was always at my side, had everything in view and thesituation under control. In the meantime there are more men, more tasks, more percussion instruments or rehearsals.

I would never have acted out these fantasies alone. But with my Lord by my side, I feel safe. It's important to me that he's always there. We havepromised never to do such things aloneclose. He sets out the rules and taboos with the men beforehand and makes sure that everything is followed. It is just as important to me that wecode word have one that I can always use and know it's going to stop right away, and one that everyone knows shouldn't get any harder.

It turns me on when different men use me - each time a different one. My Lord decides everything for me. I don't know the age, height, or any preferences. But what I do know is that my master chooses men with the utmost care. And that's what turns me on. The outside use alone is an incredibly exciting feeling and always gives me new impressions.It's like a thousand first times. But it's even more exciting to do it under his control and to make my position clear to me. It shows that I'm just His and I'll do whatever He asks. That my job is to please my master and if it is his desire to please other men too. In addition, I can show that my master can be proud of his sub and I enjoy presenting myself in front of others and showing what I have already learned.


It also helps me to find out what I personally want and want to live out or try out. i getnew experiences every timeand insights, as well as suggestions as to what I would like to continue doing or not doing anymore. In addition, it is a kindproof of trustto both of us and strengthens our bond every time.

Nevertheless, it is important to me that my master and I do a lot of aftercare afterwards.We talk about everything, hug each otherand exchange much tenderness. It brings me back down to earth and gives me back my safe, familiar surroundings.

Of course, third-party use does not only exist in theBDSM context.But especially there it reflects the great trust between domina/dom and sub. It shows the subservience, but at the same time the good communication of both partners, which is essential for a D/S relationship. It shows thePower relations and helps to continue to grow sexuallyand keep learning. No matter how old and experienced you are, use by others always brings new impressions.

After a few sexual experiences in and outside of relationships, the author Mia felt more and more that she had a strong desire to live out her submissive side more. Mia started with an online relationship with a cathedral. Shortly thereafter, her first Dom in real life followed. She now lives in a steady 24/7 DS relationship with her Dom and her husband.

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